Then we get to S3 with 3 timelines that confused and annoyed more than one viewer where we get the timeline from Tyler's scene at the school dance, the timeline where Bryce Walker is dead and they are investigating Clay as a possible suspect and the timeline where Ani, a new character, appears to be building a story "telling the truth" of what happened to Bryce to the police and working as a voice over for the other two timelines. *Big sigh* This, for me, is where it stopped being 13 Reasons Why and it started blurring the lines with a teenage version of Agatha Christie's Poirot.

Then we discover that Alex was the one that actually killed Bryce and then all the group of friends formed in S1 and S2 help him cover up the murder while blaming Monty, who by the way is in jail now for what he did to Tyler, because Alex deserves a second chance in life. You would ask yourselves, how can they get away with pinning the murder onto Monty? Surely, the guy would give an alibi right? Well, no if he is dead. So the character gets killed in jail for being a child molester by an inmate. 

*Screams into a pillow*

While I think Bryce was trash and deserved to be in jail for being an entitled rapist asshole, murder is murder. In my opinion, helping Alex and "making it okay" that he murdered Bryce because he was a garbage human being sets a bad precedent that portrays a sort of vigilante behaviour. Well, he committed a crime, so he deserves to die. Okay, where does that stop? I am not trying to take importance of Bryce's crimes or excusing him. Some people where really offended by this season because it "humanised Bryce". But he was a human being, a trashy and horrible one, but still human. I believe the intention of the season was to show that people can change? But 12 episodes got completely obliterated in the last episode where we see that Bryce did not change at all while threatening Zack and Jessica.

So now, here we are in S4 with lots of mixed feelings and wondering what else can happen now. Hoping this is the season where these things get fixed. Well, no. I understand the intention of the writers: trauma. It is a whole season focused on trauma, PTSD, depression and dissociative behaviour. Which, don't get me wrong, for people who live with someone suffering from one or more of these diseases can be somewhat helpful (even more if the person in your life confirms that's what happens to them in certain situations). It personally help me with my partner anyway. I know other people might disagree, but I can only talk from my point of view and experience.

As a quick summary, Clay is the main driver of this whole season again and the rest of the characters are just feeding into the whole trauma topic. Clay ends up suffering from dissociative behaviour due to help covering Bryce's murder and starts acting out while losing big chunks of time and not remembering doing certain things. There are certain scenes that made me incredibly upset and uncomfortable and that I would advise to be careful if you are watching with someone suffering from any of the issues from above.

Now my ranting starts. We are completely off from where we started. The show is no longer 13 Reasons Why. I mean, for starters it breaks the pattern of having 13 episodes and only has 10. Okay, I know I am being picky here and it is really not a bother, but it sort of feeds the narrative of my ranting. 

We know Justin's history. The story of abuse, the drug addiction, the absentee parents, the bad role models, and the abandonment issues. I think Justin started as a antagonist character where at some point due to the pressure and the situation in S1 was even considering getting "rid of" Clay. Then, he gets a reality check and tries to do better. He tries to protect Jess and then flees his home thanks to Meth Seth, ending up living in the streets, addicted to heroin and prostituting in order to get money to buy drugs. Clay saves him, the Jensen's adopt him and help him get properly clean. He comes back and now you have Clay having his own crisis and it seems it is okay to trade on all of Justin's issues and insecurities which leads him (amongst other things) to relapse. 

Not only that but when Clay stops being an utter jerk, Justin collapses in the middle of the prom dance leading to him ending up in hospital with a doctor telling us that Justin's HIV has progressed into AIDS due to his time being in the streets and relapsing shortly after.

*deep, deep sigh*

Can I just say that the only character worth following and what, at least for me, made this season worth watching (aside from what I could learn to help my partner) was Justin? I think it is quite unfair selling this story and killing this character because (in my opinion) helped Jess' character have a nice and neat ending as an activist and a woman who can be strong and keep fighting and surviving. Could she not have been that alongside Justin? Someone who supported her and her fights no matter what throughout the whole TV show (okay, let's just avoid talking about S1).

The fact that even Clay's character questions why Justin was not saved, why nothing was done, to his therapist when it is easy to do some research and find that for HIV to progress into AIDS it can take years (6-8 years approx.) and, even then, there are now a series of treatments for people to live with AIDS. I know the message was to get tested, speak about it regardless of being ashamed for what society may think of us, but I think the message could have been sent across while saving Justin's character. Actually, it would have been even more powerful if the show presented what happens when you actually talk about it, how it is okay and how people with HIV/AIDS can have somewhat normal lives.

So yeah... Justin dies and it broke my heart. I am actually fully aware that I am crying over a fictional character and I still think this character deserved better. All the bullshit of breaking up with Jess (while she was being precious and not understanding where Justin came from) to fully recover to be a better person, staying clean and confiding in the football coach, learning to seek for help when things become too much and then, finally, getting accepted into college by having Clay as his positive influence was for absolutely nothing.

If you have a heart, you could NOT not cry with Justin's college essay:

"... He's my brother. He's my positive influence. He is the reason I am alive and able to write this colleague essay in the first place."

Okay, I had to take a break here because I started crying like a baby yet again. I am sorry I am late into the rage wagon about Justin's death, but here I am ready to scream with you all.

For the other characters, Ani still feel a bit irrelevant to me even in the end. Tony ends up getting a scholarship (full ride) to Nevada University for boxing and sells the garage with the blessing of his father back in Mexico. Alex is now in a relationship with our wholesome and amazing Charlie St. George. Jessica is now an activist and going to uni while at the same time letting go of Bryce. Tyler is happy. Period. He is another of my favourite characters that has a similar journey as Justin and gets his fair ending. Zack spiralled so much he barely makes it to graduation and the football coach offer him a summer job helping him train the team. But also, he ends up getting an audition to play the guitar and sing (didn't see that coming). Clay gives us a very inspiring graduation speech which I, low key, will use from time to time and ends up (finally) leaving Evergreen with Tony to go to Brown.

"... life is a pretty spectacular thing. Even in the worst days."

Like Clay, I do believe that all of us suffer from depression and (maybe) anxiety. We all feel a bit blue and like the world is too much for us sometimes. I mean, how can we not these days? But also, one good thing that the program tells us is that "... life is a pretty spectacular thing. Even in the worst days." and that's what I am keeping with me and what I will keep telling my partner every day.

Overall, the ending of the series was really disappointing. While I thank the writers for giving us certain topics that obviously helped us open a conversation, there are other points where it felt (at least to me) they were trying to be politically correct and please today's masses rather than giving the opportunity to the characters to have a big finale true to themselves.

If you agree with me, here's my tip: Justin didn't die. He is loving life in University and living with the Jensen's. The End.